Crisis averted! I'm not quiting! False alarm!
Okay so here's what happened. I'm affected by the art I see. I'm not the best artist on dA or in any capacity but I try to do the best I can on any piece of work that I post here. I welcome constructive criticism from those who are willing to give it. But the point is I try. I try to do something different with my writing and my character designs.
You may notice that the majority of my characters are either non-human or when they are human they are mostly POC. I try to not follow too closely the conventional tropes of any genre and when I am forced to write something familiar I try to subvert it in some way. All of this is because I like stories and characters that are different. I like when the main characters are POC with unique backstories instead of the over used white guy with a five o'clock shadow and a dark/sad/criminal/mysterious past. I like stories that have characters who are well developed and function like real people.
Stories and settings that break the conventions of their genre are a delight to read, watch, and play. It can be something small like a sci-fi story where every alien species is as diverse as the human race instead of being monolithic. As long as it shows some effort to defy common Hollywood/comic logic I will give it a shot.
So when I see a film where everything is a cliche, where the characters all fall into tired old archetypes, and where everything is done for the sake of style and flash it gets to me. When the film is so subtely racist that it doesn't even realize it then it offends me. When the violence is so grotesquely over the top and glorified it sickens me. I'm not contractually allowed to say what this film is yet but I assure you a review will be posted as soon as I am permitted to post it. The sad thing is that this film will be hugely successful and is already getting great reviews.
Seeing this made me question myself. If all it takes to entertain people is a rehash of things they've seen before, if a reference to something else passes for a clever joke, if over the top violence is all it takes to astound the masses then why am I trying?
Because I need to. I need to do it for myself because I want to be better. Futile though it may be I will keep trying to do something different. Others have done it and I will draw my inspiration from them. No quitting, not anymore.